There’s something you should know before we begin this review. I hate mussels. Despise them. They taste like sand, but I suppose that’s to be expected from a filter feeder. I can’t stand them. If I could, I’d cut them so bad, they gonna wish I no cut them so bad.
Why is this important? Because the place we’re about to review has a specialty. And that specialty is mussels.
I can’t tell you how difficult it was to bring you this review. In case my super subtle title has eluded you, I’ll be talking about the restaurant Ninja today, located in NYC. Briefly, I had a great time and the whole experience was quite enjoyable, but my review isn’t 100% glowing. This of course presents a problem. One must be… tactful when discussing something that may be perceived as a… possible minor imperfection when speaking about trained killers such as ninjas. You see, they are quick to anger and will kill without remorse. Somehow, the Ninjas in question found out about my first few drafts and they… expressed their displeasure. They showed me the error of my ways and I agreed to revise certain… more inflammatory sections. I hope this meets with their approval and they will stop breaking into my room at night and stabbing me. Without further ado, here is my belated review of Ninja: