An Ode to Eggs

Eggs.

Eggs are wonderful. Everyone likes eggs. There are many ways to have eggs. Scrambled, over easy, hard or soft boiled, deviled, or omelets, just to name a few. But there is one egg form that is superior to all others. This preparation of eggs is not only one of the most delicious way to eat eggs, but it also provides some entertainment value!

What is this majestic form of egg, this jumbo egg among smaller, lower grade eggs? I shall tell you! It is the classic sunny side up egg. It is indisputably the greatest way to eat eggs man has ever devised. If sunny side up eggs were a Greek hero, they would be Hercules. If sunny side up eggs were a Norse god, they would be Thor! If sunny side up eggs were a video game character, they would be Samus Aran! If sunny side up eggs were Transformers, they would be Omega Supreme!

Now we all know that sunny side up is the One True Way™ to eat eggs. Ordinarily I wouldn’t take the time to write about such an obvious thing, however it has come to my attention that not everyone is aware of this fundamental truth. Since it appears that some among you need a little… reeducation, allow to me to extol the virtues of sunny side up eggs so that all may know their glory.

I mentioned earlier that thing about entertainment value? Sunny side up eggs HAVE GOO IN THEM! You pop the yolk and there’s yellow stuff everywhere! What’s not to love about that?! When was the last time you had something filled with delicious, edible goo? There’s chocolate lava cake and Cadbury Creme Eggs, and how awesome are those things? It follows that sunny side up eggs will be just as awesome, if not more so because you can eat them for breakfast and not have to explain yourself if you get caught doing so by someone else. “What? No, this isn’t a chocolatey delight! It’s eggs, made sunny side up, but I can see how you might mistake it for one if it’s equally awesome cousins!”

Aside from the entertainment, you also have built in customization! Want to eat your egg whites with only a little yolk? You can do that! Want to drown them in yolk? Go for it! Maybe you want to save your yolk for the end? By all means, do so! The power to eat your eggs the way you want is in your hands! No one can stop you! You’re not beholden to someone else’s ideas on how to eat your eggs!

Entertainment! Customization! And not only that, but sunny side up eggs are intrinsically good! Forget all of the other benefits you have when eating them, the simple tactile and sensory sunny side up eating experience is beyond compare. No other egg form delivers the simple joys and exquisite taste of a sunny side up egg. From the slightly crispy edge on the creamy albumin to the gooey yolk, truly sunny side up is a god among eggs.